DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME

Gammon Records (2003)

Album (CD)

 

 

 

1. Want In?

2. Back In The Picture

3. Let’s Not

4. Ratso Rizzo

5. Let Yourself Go

6. Testimonial #6

7. So Funny

8. Know-It-All

9. Don’t Try This At Home

10. Surprise! Surprise!

11. Yesterday’s Muse

12. What Makes Jenny Run?

13. Of All The Situations

 

 

All songs written by Jesse Hartman, published by © 1997-2003 Exurbia Music, Inc. (BMI)






 

 

WANT IN?

You want in?
You want in?
Listen, KidÖ

Youíre sick and tired of not being ďhappeningĒ
Youíre sick of tired of trying to fit in
So you bought a new car
Whitened your teeth
Cut out your carbs
But still looking weak
Youíre sick of feeling like lifeís a no win

Well, step back, step back, step back, youíreÖ
Not in, not in the door soÖ
Step back, step backÖit probably do you some good

Yeah, relax, relax, relax, you
Donít even like what theyíre for
Step back and ask why the hell that you do

Want in?
Want in?
Want in the door
Want in?
Kid, are you sure?
Once youíre in
It ainít much at all

Not that I know so much what it is like to be in
Iíve spent my life with a pick in the lock
But if you canít do
Might as well teach
And if you canít teach
Might as well teach gym
Yeah, if Woodyís right
I can teach you some things

Step back, step back, step back, youíreÖ
Not in, not in the door soÖ
Step back, donít actÖjust learn to breathe in

Yeah, Relax, relax, relax, just
Repeat, repeat the mantra
Just chant, you shanít remember why that you didÖ

Want in?
Want in?
Want in the door
Get in
Kid, are you sure?
Once youíre in
It ainít much at all
Once youíre in

Step back, step back, step back
You want in?
Relax, relax, relaxÖ

 


BACK IN THE PICTURE

Iím coming
Youíre coming
Weíre coming
Itís something

I want to be with you all night long
I never thought that Iíd say that again
I want to be with you all night long,
Tomorrow is a very different thing

But is it?
It isnít

Iím coming
Looks like youíre back in the picture
Youíre coming
Looks youíre back in the now
Weíre coming
My difficult little shiksa
Itís something
That we are back going out

Back in the picture
Back in the mixture
Back playing Twister
With a bunch of quipsters

Drinks with your sister
Vacuous hipsters
Need an elixir
Get out of my picture!

I didnít want to spend the night alone
Is that a reason to back in hell?
Yeah, you and me know we donít belong
Yeah, you and me know that this is wrongÖ

Not a pretty picture
An out of focus picture
Not a pretty picture
All cause of a quick fixer?

All cause ofÖ

Iím coming
Youíre coming
Weíre comingÖ
Itís something

I want to be with you all night long
I never thought that Iíd say that again
I want to be with you all night long
Tomorrow is a very different thingÖ

Back in the picture


LETíS NOT

You want to know if I want to go
To another one of Jackieís parties
To hang around with a bunch of clowns
Gazing at their shoes and acting arty

Let's not and say we didÖ

I cannot, I canít deal with it
I cannot deal with it

I can practically hear them
You want to know if I want to go
I hear them shooting the shit
Promote myself, to show and tell
I can picture them sneering at
Back stabbing, how gouache
Each otherís weak attempts at wit
I donít think so
I know, I know

Let's not and say we didÖ

I cannot, I canít deal with it
Cannot deal with that thing

Letís just hide out and be boring
Letís just hide from everything
Iím in no mood to go whoring
To keep grabbing the brass ring

Canít possiblyÖ

You think I would meet someone who could
Help me get my somewhat leftfield art out
Get on the scene, you never know where things lead
You gotta go to Jackieís weekly party, man

Let's not and say we didÖ

Letís not, I canít deal with it
I cannot deal with that thing

 

RATSO RIZZO

I havenít see you around since I was a youth
Yeah, theyíve really cleaned up this town
They cracked down on you

But lately I see changes
I see some beautiful changes

Youíre back, Ratso Rizzo
Youíre back, Ratso Rizzo
Iím glad, Ratso Rizzo
Youíre back in town

Yeah, every hang-out I had had become a boutique
And every local bar turned to one with a theme

But thanks to a deep recession
Thereís no more gentrification

Youíre back, Ratso Rizo
Youíre back, Ratso Rizo
Iím glad, Ratso Rizo
Youíre back in town

Youíre back in town
Hanginí around
You are my pal

Lately I see changes
I see some beautiful changes

Some beaten-up faces
Yeah, you strut around wasted
It makes me elated

Youíre back, Ratso RizzoÖ
Youíre back, Ratso Rizo
Iím glad, Ratso Rizo
Youíre back in town

Youíre back in town
Hanginí around
You are my pal

Ratso Rizzo


LET YOURSELF GO

Jesse: Baby, can we talk
Jenny: Thatís sounds heavy
Jesse: No, itís just, well, I just wanted to tell you how I feel about some stuff.


Your move
I said I love you
Now itís your turn tell me the truth

Look, I know you want
Your career to take off
Yeah, the last you need is some dude

But I know from experience
That this feeling is unusual
Yeah, time just isnít limitless
There are moments when you just have to
Let yourself go

Come on baby
Itís three lousy words
Would it kill you to say how you feel?

Look, this ainít your job
You can show a little heart
You are not in some part in a film

Look, I know from experience
That these feelings just donít come and go
Look, life isnít all show business
There are moments when you just to
Let yourself go

Let yourself go
Let our thing grow

Jenny: Listen, Jess. Itís not the career stuff. Itís you. This just isnít working for me. Maybe we should just be friends.

Your move
Jenny: Werenít you just listening to me?
Now itís your turn to say how you feel
Jenny: Jesus. Come on, JessÖ

Look I know you want
Your career to take off
Jenny: Youíre really not taking this in.

But I know from experience
That this feeling is unusual
Yeah, time just isnít limitless
There are moments when you just have to
Let yourself go

Let yourself go
I know you want to
Let yourself go
You know you want to
Let yourself go
I know I want to
Let yourself go
You know you want to


TESTIMONIAL #6

I saw your ad on the TV
I was at first skeptical
But you promised that you could change me
So I called you up, thought what the hell

How did I ever live without you?
How did I ever live before?
How did I ever live without you?
I canít imagine it at all

How did I ever live before?

Since I got your panacea
I donít have no more problems
I mean, not that I donít have none
I just donít seem to care much
Iím just gliding along
Yeah, my ambitions are gone
Iím happy with my lot
Since Iíve been using your product

How did I ever live without you?
How did I ever live before?
How did I ever live without you?
I canít imagine it at all

How did I ever live before?

But lately Iíve been feeling
A touch like I used to before
The frightening real me
I need to take some more
I need order more of your thing

Because Iíll never live without you

How could I ever live without you?
How did I ever live before?
How did I ever live without you?
I canít imagine it at all

How did I ever live before?


SO FUNNY

Caught, it seems
In a cycle that Iíve seen
One million trillion times before

Yeah, bought, then released
>From ďYou will be the next big thingĒ
To Ma insisting I should study law

You think itís funny?

So funny I forgot to laugh
So funny I forgot to laugh
So funny I forgot I used to laugh some

Itís irony
ĎCause making jokes is my main thing
Iím not supposed to write this song

But lately Iím feeling just like others have been feeling
Thick skins can only hold so long

You think itís funny

So funny I forgot to laugh
So funny I forgot to laugh
So funny I forgot I used to laugh some

So funny I forgot to laugh
So funny I forgot to laugh
So funny I forgot how to ďHa haĒ

I need to get my sense of humor back
I need to make some people laugh
I donít like making people cry
Or think that my whole life
Ainít turning out so right

You think itís funny?

So funnyÖ

So funny I forgot to laugh
So funny I forgot to laugh
So funny I forgot how to ďHa haĒ


KNOW-IT-ALL

Listen up to your mother, brother, sister
Listen up to your father
Listen up to the Lord

They apparently know
every single answer,
every fact and figure
in the whole damn world

But thereís something
different today
Thereís something
you just want to say

Hey, donít look down on me
Iím not a big baby
Iím not your mirror anymore
Hey, donít look down on me
with your philosophies
Hey, save your dogma
Iíve had enough

Do you know it all? Donít youÖ

Is your life only what you read today
in The New York Times?
Is what you read in your
magazines?
Is what you read in your books?

Whatever happened to good
old-fashioned experience?
Whatever happened to living?
Whatever happened to you?

That you need to condescend
No longer my good friend

Hey, donít look down on me
Iím not a big baby
Iím not your mirror anymore
Hey, donít look down on me
with your philosophies
Hey, save your dogma
Iíve had enough

Do you know it all?
No, you donítÖ


DONíT TRY THIS AT HOME

I see you
Cut it out

Little man, mouthing the words to this song
Canít understandÖ
How could you?
Öthe extent of the hurt they come from

I know that you feel free when you strum along
But I know how wrong your dreams can go

Donít try this at home
Donít try this when youíre alone
Donít try this at home
Youíre gonna hurt yourself
Yeah, I know

ĎCause I was exactly the same kid as you
Making my moves in a mirror
I wanted to be just like Lou

A Rock Ďní Roll animal
An irreverent funky-ass Jew
But what I did not account for
Was this cultural vacuum

Donít try this at home
Donít try this when youíre alone
Donít try this at home
Youíre gonna hurt yourself
Yeah, I know
Believe me, baby

Beware of the dogs
Beware, Be scared of the dogs
Listen to ĎemÖ
Down, Boy!
SitÖ

Do not try this at home
Youíre gonna hurt yourself
Yeah, I know

Iím serious


SURPRISE! SURPRISE!

So this is love
This is what people
Been speaking of
This is what people

Say is whyÖ
It is worth living our lives
Yeah, this is whatÖ
Supposed to keep me satisfied

This is the prize
This is the prize
This is the prize
Surprise, surprise

Hey, please excuse me
What?
This is confusing
Why?
Canít be the thing
And then you die
It is

Yeah, sure itís soothing
Yeah
Like Captain Stubbing
Huh?
Like ďLove BoatĒ on a weekend night
You watch that?

This canít be why
It is worth living our lives
Yeah, this is what
Should make me feel so satisfied

This is the prize
This is the prize
This is the prize
Surprise, surprise

But every morning when I wake up next to you
I donít feel as nauseous as I remember that I used to
I feel more relaxed now
I feel like Iím atop a cloud
Iím kind of wowed
Surprise, surprise

Itís kind of nice

Surprise, surprise
Ooh, wow
Surprise, surprise
Ooh, wow
Itís pretty nice!

So this is love, this is what people been speaking of


YESTERDAYíS MUSE

RememberÖ

Remember how you cried
Tears for a half-written tune
Emotion you canít buy
Thatís reason enough for loving you
At the time

Yeah, I needed smiles, needed kind loving words from you
I needed miles and miles of cushioning
Yeah, Iíd have lost my mind at the time if Iís without you
But that is over nowÖ
Your yesterdayís muse

Remember how youíd write
A missing word that rhymes with Ďbluesí
Craft an absurd fight
Material that I could use
Over and overÖ

I needed rhymes, storylines, good advice from you
I needed miles and miles of assisting
But that was that time, now Iím fine, still I do miss you
Light a candle ma
For yesterdayís muse

Sadly replaceable
But unforgettable
So light a white candle
Oh, babyÖ
For yesterdays muse

Itís the least I can do
For yesterdayís muse

Víyitkadahl víhitkaddash shímay rabah

Remember how you cried
Tears for a half-written tune
Emotion you canít buy
Thatís reason enough for loving you

Remember how youíd write
A missing word that rhymes with Ďbluesí
Craft an absurd fight
Material that I could use
Over and overÖ


WHAT MAKES JENNY RUN? †††††

What makes Jenny run?
What makes her have to be so cruel?
What makes Jenny run?
What made her trample over you?

What makes people need to have to become famous?
What makes people have to act so fucking shameless?

What makes Jenny run?
What makes Jenny run?
What makes Jenny run?

Giddy-up

Is she insecure or revengeful?
What makes her chase the rabbit?
Access Hollywood for their approval
And still say sheís independent

What makes people end acting so deceitful?
What makes people wind up becoming so evil?

What makes Jenny run?
What makes Jenny run?
What makes Jenny run?

Here we have one of those dog race announcers
Doiní that thing they do
Here comes dog number, up by a nose, headed for finish the line
You know all that jazz, right?


Round and round and round she goes
Where she stops, no one knows
Round and round and round she goes
Where she stops, no one knows
Round and round and round she knows
How to cut down her foes
No one knows, especially me

What makes Jenny run?
I wanna know what
What makes Jenny run?
I wanna know what
What makes Jenny run?
I wanna know what
What makes Jenny run?

You thought the joke was on me, didnít you?


OF ALL THE SITUATIONS

Lately Iíve been thinking about you
Up in a cloud
Been seeing your face
I been hearing your inimitable laugh

Always seeing the humor
Even in tough circumstance

Itís hard
We need you for this one
So hard
Of all the situations

Youíd have just the right thing to say
Compare this to some films
That speak about lifeís randomness
Jean Luc Goddard meets ďHusbandsĒ

Make us feel a little better
About your early departure

Youíd put things in perspective
In difficult circumstance

Itís hard
We need you for this one
So hard
Of all the situations

Not to have you around
But maybe I know how now
Just have to think about, the words
That would come out of your mouth

Itís hard

So hard
Of all the situations

Yeah, youíd say, ďYeah, itís hardĒ
ďBut Iíll see you on the other sideĒ
ďOh yeah, Itís hardĒ
ďJust keep me in your mindÖĒ

Itís hard
Of all the situations
Of all the situationsÖ